Starting a Daily Tantric Practice

Clients often approach me wanting “something more, something different”. They often do not mean just sexually. They have a feeling that there is something more to our lives, our relationships and our being, a sense that an enhanced wholeness of being is possible and that this word 'tantra' is a key to that.

And so it is. Tantra is often misunderstood as something reserved for the bedroom. Some of the tantric sexuality principles such as slowing down and increasing our sensitivity to energy and to intimacy and connection are important in and off themselves, but at its core, tantra is an ancient and comprehensive spiritual system of which sexuality is one small albeit important part.

I hope that tantric massage will be a gateway for you to to be more of who you are, to shed layers of being that you don't want or need and to contribute to a more refined and connected relationship with the world and "all our relations". One way to ensure that a tantric massage can enrich your experience of life when you leave and also enhance your sessions with me is by introducing short daily practices to encourage presence, connection, and embodied awareness.

The most powerful tantric shifts happen not in grand rituals, but in the small, consistent moments woven throughout the day. By introducing simple breathwork, body awareness, and visualization practices, you can experience deeper connection—to your self, your unique energy, and to others.

None of this has to take up a lot of time and in our busy lives, the best way to create a habit is to start really small. A practice lasting 2 to 3 mins is a great start.

One of the most accessible entry points is conscious breathing. Sitting or standing comfortably, you can inhale slowly through the nose for a count of 3 or 4, hold gently for the same and exhale through the mouth for longer than the inhale, for example 5 to 6 counts. This extended exhale activates the parasympathetic nervous system, helping the body soften and open. Over time, this simple rhythm builds sensitivity to subtle sensations, which is foundational in tantra. A simple daily breathwork practice will also build your stamina for more extended tantric breathing during a massage.

Body awareness, or “somatic presence,” is equally important.  Tantra invites us to feel more, not fix more. A short daily body scan can help you improve sensitivity, self awareness and focus. Again start small: starting at the crown of the head, slowly move your attention down to the toes. Notice sensations without trying to change them. I recommend choosing one sensation to notice before you begin, such as tingling, tightness, warmth, coolness, air currents or even numbness to avoid your mind becoming confused or indecisive.

Grounding is another essential element. Place your awareness on the soles of your feet and focus on the point of connection with the ground. You may feel nothing at first but keep doing it. After lots of practice I can now feel a strong electric tingle all over the soles of my feet almost immediately I direct my attention there. The feet contain all the energy channels of the body called meridians so it is tremendously beneficial to do this and can be especially helpful during stressful moments, bringing the nervous system back into balance while reinforcing a sense of safety in the body. Again it just takes a moment so you can do a grounding exercise when you are queuing or waiting.

Finally, I encourage micro-moments of sensual awareness throughout the day. Nature is erotic, the world is a sensual place. This is also a way to practice mindfulness. Keep it simple – fully taste a sip of tea, notice the warm water on the skin in the shower or when you are washing up, notice the texture of an everyday item you wouldn't normally pay any attention to or slow down your eating to really savour the taste or texture of a single bite of a meal. Tantra thrives in these small awakenings of the senses. The goal isn’t to add more to an already busy day, but to deepen the quality of what is already there.

Tantra is about bringing everything onto the spiritual path no matter how mundane or profound it appears to be. When practiced consistently, these small rituals can begin to shift how you relate to yourself and the world. As you become more attuned, and more open to pleasure, connection, and presence, our sessions together can become so much deeper and your daily life more pleasurable.